I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
someone owes me an orgasm
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My vagina is officially offended.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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