The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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