im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
