my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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