I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
