we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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