i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
