hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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