i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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