This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
