it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
