He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
