every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
