Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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