Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
