Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
