you have to choose: penises or morals?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
