I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
