Will you blow on my dice?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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