i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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