I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
