He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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