lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
