i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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