I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
