Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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