the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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