: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
