at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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