You're so nebulous sometimes
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
