Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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