why didn't you poke me back
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We have so much sex to catch up on
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
