The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
