Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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