Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
