I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
