We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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