I am spending my child support on dildos
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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