We need to rekindle our bromance
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
