if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
