If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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