That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
