My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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