Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
