I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I will be naked everywhere
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The convent might be a nice break from real life
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
