i may or may not be watching the land before time
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
