That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
