Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
