we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
