She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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